Where to begin. I'm in a funk, a funk that could border on epic proportions if I ignore it. I have incredible friends. I know that they are there for me, but I need to learn to rely on them more. I can't do/fix everything on my own now can I ;)
I need to learn to speak my mind, tell people how/what I feel about things, about them. I have to stop shutting down when I don't see things shaking out the way that I hope/want them to. I have to find a way to keep enjoying what I do (make that LOVE what I do) and get rid of the bull$hit that ruins it for me.
Crap. I need to do a lot of things.
OK, enough moaning for now (but I think I will return to these things regularly on my blog as I need to find a method to better get them out of my head and "out there" which is the first step for me) Back to the task at hand. My Ultra debut.
Today was a sucky day, a sucky run and I now I sit here drinking a cold coffee and icing my stupid, sucky knee which is swollen up. I haven't been able to put in the mileage I would like. Partly due to my stupid schedule, partly because of my expert procrastination techniques. I really should write a book about it! I have been doing about 90% of my runs on the treadmill between clients while I'm at the gym. Not the best, but hey - getting the shorter stuff all looked after in a timely manner. One of my fellow GL trainers did her first ultra back last fall. She did 100% of her training on the treadmill! SHOCKING! And even more shocking, she came in within a couple of minutes of my Ultra hero, inspiration and friend Kinga Miklos. She trained on a TM and finished 50K within minutes of the ULTRA QUEEN!
Now, I may be a dreamer, but I'm not a complete idiot. I am no where near Kinga's speed or endurance but hey.. it can be done!
Today I headed to Fanshawe Conservation area after I had trained a client. First mistake - I got there at 11:30 - the temperature (in the shade) was 28.5 degrees c, with a humidity factor of 37 degrees c. My intention was to run/hike the 20K loop, work on my endurance and just time on my tootsies. This is the closest terrain to what I'll be dealing with in August in Mansfield at Dirty Girls, and then again at Haliburton in September. So this has been my intended long run/hike location.
Today was brutal, it was humbling, it was draining. It was all I could do to squeek an out & back out of my legs & lungs. I know that the heat & humidity was a factor, but my knee also started twinging about 5-6 K in. UNGH.
I ran out of water, I ran out of steam, I ran out of confidence. I cut it short and went out 45 minutes & back 45 minutes. I probably ended up about 11 K or so of my intended 20K today.
While I was out there, my mind was all over the place, I was watching the butterflies, I stopped once (for a minute) to pick & eat some raspberries, I jumped off the trail for a lot of friendly MTB dudes and one idiot who feels he's got a shot at the Olympics I'm thinking. I thought about how much I adore it out there, how much it means to me to be active and able to slog away at the trails at least. I have a bunch of clients who I am sure would give their left arm (who gives away an arm anyhow? Weird expression) to do what I do. But I still felt sad out there today. I worry that I may be on the verge of losing my best friend. The person who keeps me going back out there & doing these things like riding & hiking & spending time out-doors. I wondered what I would do or how I would enjoy these things if I didn't have my bff to share them with. I worry about being a poseur with my whole, lets do a 50K dream/plan. I know I won't be running a lot of it, especially now with my knee issues today.
So... this post is going to become epic in size if I don't stop clicking away at the keys now, so I'll leave it at this.
I have a lot of things to think about and to do. Best get back to reading "Get paid for who you are" (and thanks to the person who directed me to the book.. you know who you are!)
Peace out peeps! :)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Look at what I found!
To my poor, poor little blog. I apologize. I apologize for only using you when I needed you, and then neglecting you like a ratty old towel & stuffing you in the back of the closet. It's time to dig you out, give you a good soak & hang you out in the sun.
Exactly where you belong.
What's gone on since April 2007. Sheesh, that's 3 years, I can't possibly sum it all up in a few lines can I?
Remainder of 2007:
Worked, swam, ran, biked. Ran a whole lot more. Did a whole schwack of try-a-tri races. Finished the season first overall in the series for Athena's over the age of 40. Went to Chicago. Marathon attempt # 1. Epic fail. Not my fault, the organization stopped the race. Yeah, you may have heard about it. Marathon attempt # 2 - YAY! Detroit, 2007 - 42.2/26.6 in the books.
2008:
Well, the year went fabulously until November 2. I lost my 18+ year job with ING (now referred to as Intact Insurance (what a goofy name, I always want to say Impact!) I raced, not as hard or as much as 2007, but saw improvements in triathlon distance and HUGE leaps forward in my swimming. Fast forward to December, I squeeze into the very last spot of the year in the Can-Fit-Pro Personal Trainer Specialist course. What will 2009 hold for me????
2009:
Get hired pretty much immediately by GoodLife. Yep, I'm now a personal trainer. Who'd have thought that. The slightly chubby, awkward girl who rode horses & never quite fit in no matter how hard she tried. Now I motivate and kick hiney. Getting paid to do so in the process! Huh. Although dodgeball I admit that it still scares the snot out of me ;) Running and tri, I did some.
Oh yeah.. half IronMan. I almost forgot that one. 70.3 miles - the list just keeps on growing.
Fast forward to 2010:
January - blow out my knee cross country skiing. Diagnosis: Patella Femoral. Prognosis: get my lazy @ss (literally my @ss muscles are the root of all that ails me) working properly. That was my focus for February & March. Take a Life Coaching course to add to my "bag of goodies" that I can offer my clients (whom I am LOVING) April - May, do a little bit of running, the knee is feeling much better and I am continuing to keep my hiney occupied with glute stretches, isometrics & lots of fun strength stuff. My hiney has a love-hate relationship with me these days. ;) June sees me return to the wonderful world of triathlon.
Yeah.. wonderful if you are trained, if you are not so well trained? Lets just say I got out of it exactly what I put into it. As well as a reality check. I finished & had fun. That's what matters at the beginning of the season doesn't it? Isn't it all about the smile that beams across your face at the finish line?
So, what's next you may ask my little blog? Why have you been pulled out of the back of the linen closet & dusted off?
Well, here is is:
On the "eve" of my 46th, I have bitten off a big chunk, a big chunk of roots, rocks, trees and wild life. I've registered for my very first "Ultra" race. Ultra races are runs that are longer than the standard 42.2KM that comprise a marathon.
September 11, 2010 (I didn't realize the significance of the date until I received my confirmation). I will be running/walking/crawling FIFTY KILOMETRES in the beautiful Haliburton Forest.
So there you go blog. You are somewhat up to date, and will be the recipient of my cursing, musing, highs & lows over the next few months.
You happy now?
You had better be ;)
Exactly where you belong.
What's gone on since April 2007. Sheesh, that's 3 years, I can't possibly sum it all up in a few lines can I?
Remainder of 2007:
Worked, swam, ran, biked. Ran a whole lot more. Did a whole schwack of try-a-tri races. Finished the season first overall in the series for Athena's over the age of 40. Went to Chicago. Marathon attempt # 1. Epic fail. Not my fault, the organization stopped the race. Yeah, you may have heard about it. Marathon attempt # 2 - YAY! Detroit, 2007 - 42.2/26.6 in the books.
2008:
Well, the year went fabulously until November 2. I lost my 18+ year job with ING (now referred to as Intact Insurance (what a goofy name, I always want to say Impact!) I raced, not as hard or as much as 2007, but saw improvements in triathlon distance and HUGE leaps forward in my swimming. Fast forward to December, I squeeze into the very last spot of the year in the Can-Fit-Pro Personal Trainer Specialist course. What will 2009 hold for me????
2009:
Get hired pretty much immediately by GoodLife. Yep, I'm now a personal trainer. Who'd have thought that. The slightly chubby, awkward girl who rode horses & never quite fit in no matter how hard she tried. Now I motivate and kick hiney. Getting paid to do so in the process! Huh. Although dodgeball I admit that it still scares the snot out of me ;) Running and tri, I did some.
Oh yeah.. half IronMan. I almost forgot that one. 70.3 miles - the list just keeps on growing.
Fast forward to 2010:
January - blow out my knee cross country skiing. Diagnosis: Patella Femoral. Prognosis: get my lazy @ss (literally my @ss muscles are the root of all that ails me) working properly. That was my focus for February & March. Take a Life Coaching course to add to my "bag of goodies" that I can offer my clients (whom I am LOVING) April - May, do a little bit of running, the knee is feeling much better and I am continuing to keep my hiney occupied with glute stretches, isometrics & lots of fun strength stuff. My hiney has a love-hate relationship with me these days. ;) June sees me return to the wonderful world of triathlon.
Yeah.. wonderful if you are trained, if you are not so well trained? Lets just say I got out of it exactly what I put into it. As well as a reality check. I finished & had fun. That's what matters at the beginning of the season doesn't it? Isn't it all about the smile that beams across your face at the finish line?
So, what's next you may ask my little blog? Why have you been pulled out of the back of the linen closet & dusted off?
Well, here is is:
On the "eve" of my 46th, I have bitten off a big chunk, a big chunk of roots, rocks, trees and wild life. I've registered for my very first "Ultra" race. Ultra races are runs that are longer than the standard 42.2KM that comprise a marathon.
September 11, 2010 (I didn't realize the significance of the date until I received my confirmation). I will be running/walking/crawling FIFTY KILOMETRES in the beautiful Haliburton Forest.
So there you go blog. You are somewhat up to date, and will be the recipient of my cursing, musing, highs & lows over the next few months.
You happy now?
You had better be ;)
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Never, say never....
I’ve been running for almost 3 years now. I’ve done a couple of 5K races, a couple of 10K races, 5 half marathons, a 25K trail race and a 30K road race…
I always said that I had no; I repeat NO interest in running a marathon. 42.2K is a long bloody way to run. I always vowed that I’d complete a half Iron Man before I ever thought about running a marathon.
Back around early February, I got up one sunny, snowy morning with an ear-to-ear grin. I had awoken from a wonderful dream that morning. A dream of crossing the finish line of my first marathon. That thought stuck with me for the entire day, and the next, and another day…
What was happening to me? Should I go see my Doctor? Book an appointment with a Psychiatrist perhaps? I was seriously thinking about this. Then I started looking at on-line training plans, Galloway, Higdon, Stanton… I pulled out my running books, Shorter, Stanton… This was going way too far, so I decided to tell a couple of friends about my dilemma… I think I told the wrong friends, because they actually encouraged me to pursue this dream, and that they would even help me by doing long runs together…
(My friends all seem to be enablers). Then we started discussing when/where this event would take place, even going so far as to book a B & B for the weekend of this “event”. Then I found a couple more friends who wanted to train for a fall marathon. What kind of giant can of worms have I opened! I’ve tweaked, massaged and edited a 26 week schedule. While I understand that most marathon training schedules are 4 months long, this one really appeals to me as it ramps up slowly with a cut-back every 3rd week. That’s my kind of training. It’s also 3 runs a week with lots of cross training. Perfect for a “dark-sider” like me and also great because my body really isn’t keen on back-to-back running days.
Ironically on April 1, 2007 – I hit “submit” and registered for my very first marathon. I hope to take advantage of every single one of the one million-plus spectators that will be lining the streets that Sunday.
Look out Chicago… hope that you are “my kinda town” after all….
I always said that I had no; I repeat NO interest in running a marathon. 42.2K is a long bloody way to run. I always vowed that I’d complete a half Iron Man before I ever thought about running a marathon.
Back around early February, I got up one sunny, snowy morning with an ear-to-ear grin. I had awoken from a wonderful dream that morning. A dream of crossing the finish line of my first marathon. That thought stuck with me for the entire day, and the next, and another day…
What was happening to me? Should I go see my Doctor? Book an appointment with a Psychiatrist perhaps? I was seriously thinking about this. Then I started looking at on-line training plans, Galloway, Higdon, Stanton… I pulled out my running books, Shorter, Stanton… This was going way too far, so I decided to tell a couple of friends about my dilemma… I think I told the wrong friends, because they actually encouraged me to pursue this dream, and that they would even help me by doing long runs together…
(My friends all seem to be enablers). Then we started discussing when/where this event would take place, even going so far as to book a B & B for the weekend of this “event”. Then I found a couple more friends who wanted to train for a fall marathon. What kind of giant can of worms have I opened! I’ve tweaked, massaged and edited a 26 week schedule. While I understand that most marathon training schedules are 4 months long, this one really appeals to me as it ramps up slowly with a cut-back every 3rd week. That’s my kind of training. It’s also 3 runs a week with lots of cross training. Perfect for a “dark-sider” like me and also great because my body really isn’t keen on back-to-back running days.
Ironically on April 1, 2007 – I hit “submit” and registered for my very first marathon. I hope to take advantage of every single one of the one million-plus spectators that will be lining the streets that Sunday.
Look out Chicago… hope that you are “my kinda town” after all….
Thursday, March 29, 2007
I RAN 30 FREAKING KM!
(that's 18.641 miles for the south of the border types!)
It still has not sunk in, and I'm still grinning ear to ear!
I ran the "oldest road race in North America" a week ago Sunday. Older than Boston (and the closest I'll ever be to it unless I go down to watch one day) Around the Bay in Hamilton/Burlington. It starts in downtown Hamilton, and literally goes around the bay through Burlington & back to Hamilton to a really interesting finish line in Copp's Collesium (sort of like an IronMan finish actually!)
I did take a few things away from Sunday, that I'll remember:
It still has not sunk in, and I'm still grinning ear to ear!
I ran the "oldest road race in North America" a week ago Sunday. Older than Boston (and the closest I'll ever be to it unless I go down to watch one day) Around the Bay in Hamilton/Burlington. It starts in downtown Hamilton, and literally goes around the bay through Burlington & back to Hamilton to a really interesting finish line in Copp's Collesium (sort of like an IronMan finish actually!)
I did take a few things away from Sunday, that I'll remember:
- 30 kilometers is a long way...
- I didn't take it as seriously as I should have...
- I slacked off on specific hill training, not the best thing for this race...
- WHO ON EARTH puts hills (and nasty ones) at KM 22-27 of a 30K route!
- I absolutely LOVED all of it, even with the hard lessons...
Will I be back next year...
WITH A VENGANCE!
Big thanks to one of the best pacers in the world.... while we didn't get to run the whole thing together - those 11K at the beginning gave me the ability to get to the end... You know who you are... ;)
Saturday, March 17, 2007
What a difference.......
One year
12 Months
52 Weeks
365 Days
8,760 Hours
525,600 Minutes
You get the rest… ;)
One year ago today, my life – or what I thought was my perfect little life, came crashing down around me. I truly felt as if my beating heart had been ripped right out through my throat. Over the following 48 hours I couldn’t fathom another tear being produced by my body. I also struggled through my longest run ever that weekend 19KM, if it hadn’t been for a friend, I never would have made it past 5K that day.
One year later, here I stand – happy, healthy and in a better mental state than I have been, in many years, if not the best mental state of my entire 42 (and a bit) years. I’ve run a 25K, am about to run a 30K event in a week, and bigger things loom on my horizon.
It’s funny how that period of time can either fly by, or crawl along at a less than a snails pace. If someone had asked me on March 17, 2006 where I expected to be one year later - this is certainly not the answer that I would have come up with, that I know for sure.
One year to reflect, review, pay homage to the things I’ve done and gone through for both the right and wrong reasons. Sometimes wondering why I gave up so much of myself, while at other times kicking myself for not giving more. But in the end I have to be satisfied in knowing that I gave what I could and in the end there was no more that I could give, especially when the recipient wanted nothing to do with what I was offering up.
I no longer take that personally, which was a long tough ride at times, the feeling that I was the failure, forgetting that it takes two to tango, and that a marriage is comprised of equals, not 90% from one person and 10% from the other. No wonder I was tired, run down and constantly feeling like I was drowning.
Tonight, I will celebrate, well in sort of secret anyhow. I am going to the birthday dinner of an amazing woman, who next to my own mom is one of the coolest 60 year olds on the planet. I am also spending that dinner with one of the many people who helped me learn about myself – a person who helped me realize the power I have inside and how I am in control of my destiny, and not to rely on someone else for that control.
It is after all… MY LIFE.
I also want to thank my many friends, both close & far including an amazing crew of runners, strong women and people I look up to and respect... My own personal "village" has been a pillar of strength to me... and I thank all of you...Monday, March 12, 2007
And I thought our City Council sucked wind...
GTAers, is this guy your City Councilor? Lucky you:
City councilors on the budget:
"I can't support bike lanes. Roads are built for buses, cars, and trucks. My heart bleeds when someone gets killed, but it's their own fault at the end of the day."
–Rob Ford
Fuming does not even begin to explain what reading this does to me... Considering the volume of people in London who were involved in cycle/auto collisions in 2006, I can't even imagine what the statistics in Toronto were during the same period... and this guy has the gall and the balls to say this...
But, after seeing a few of his other "gems"
http://www.eye.net/eye/issue/issue_07.27.06/features/feature.php
It honestly makes me look at our own city council in a slightly brighter light... At least we began to put some cycling lanes in this past fall. Well, 200 meters here, abrupt stop of the lane, to be continued a couple of blocks later, then another 200 meters... you get the idea...
But it's a start at least ;)
City councilors on the budget:
"I can't support bike lanes. Roads are built for buses, cars, and trucks. My heart bleeds when someone gets killed, but it's their own fault at the end of the day."
–Rob Ford
Fuming does not even begin to explain what reading this does to me... Considering the volume of people in London who were involved in cycle/auto collisions in 2006, I can't even imagine what the statistics in Toronto were during the same period... and this guy has the gall and the balls to say this...
But, after seeing a few of his other "gems"
http://www.eye.net/eye/issue/issue_07.27.06/features/feature.php
It honestly makes me look at our own city council in a slightly brighter light... At least we began to put some cycling lanes in this past fall. Well, 200 meters here, abrupt stop of the lane, to be continued a couple of blocks later, then another 200 meters... you get the idea...
But it's a start at least ;)
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Things that are AWESOME
I need to get back to doing things like this, especially with all that I have that I want to do.. great way of putting the demons to rest!
Things that are awesome about today:
The sun is shining brightly
There is a little bit of fresh white snow covering the dirt/gunk
I’m going to see Serena Ryder tonight with an awesome person
Things that are awesome about work:
I make my own schedule and I’m not necessarily tied to a desk all day long
I get to help people (really, I do!)
People are afraid of me, but after meeting me, realize that they don’t have to be… lol
Things that are awesome about my home:
It’s MINE (as in, I have it just the way I want right now)
I have awesome facilities – full gym, whirlpool, sauna, pool, underground parking, great building management & super
It’s close to everything I need, walk to work, to the parks….
Ragsthecat lives there with me!
Things that are awesome about me:
I’m learning to accept and understand my own “awesomeness”
My tenacity and strong will
My “super hero calves” (I’m borrowing this from Vicki)
I am healthy and happy
Things that are awesome that are coming up:
Around the Bay, really – it will be awesome when I am done! ; )
My trip to meet the Western “family” in May
The summer of 2007 in general!
Things that are just, in general awesome:
MY FRIENDS! (both on-line & in-person)
The direction I see my life going in now that I am in control of it
MY FRIENDS… can’t emphasize that one enough…
Things that are awesome about today:
The sun is shining brightly
There is a little bit of fresh white snow covering the dirt/gunk
I’m going to see Serena Ryder tonight with an awesome person
Things that are awesome about work:
I make my own schedule and I’m not necessarily tied to a desk all day long
I get to help people (really, I do!)
People are afraid of me, but after meeting me, realize that they don’t have to be… lol
Things that are awesome about my home:
It’s MINE (as in, I have it just the way I want right now)
I have awesome facilities – full gym, whirlpool, sauna, pool, underground parking, great building management & super
It’s close to everything I need, walk to work, to the parks….
Ragsthecat lives there with me!
Things that are awesome about me:
I’m learning to accept and understand my own “awesomeness”
My tenacity and strong will
My “super hero calves” (I’m borrowing this from Vicki)
I am healthy and happy
Things that are awesome that are coming up:
Around the Bay, really – it will be awesome when I am done! ; )
My trip to meet the Western “family” in May
The summer of 2007 in general!
Things that are just, in general awesome:
MY FRIENDS! (both on-line & in-person)
The direction I see my life going in now that I am in control of it
MY FRIENDS… can’t emphasize that one enough…
Monday, March 05, 2007
So, am I a fraud or what?
This is what an hour and a half drive with plenty of time to do some “self talk” will do to you I guess.
Driving home from the Chilly Half yesterday, I had quite the debate going. Honestly, it had started in my head about a week earlier, but I had been pretty much ignoring the little buggger of a voice within, waiting until it was the right time to give it some uninterrupted time to sort out my thoughts, and yesterday was that time.
I often laugh at myself when people who both run & don’t run, ask me what I’m doing on the weekend of a race. While I say that I’m doing xx race or yy race, in my head I’m saying
“don’t freaking say you are racing, you don’t race, you don’t leave it all out there on the pavement, you don’t even properly train for a lot of these things… how on earth can you possibly say that you are racing!”
While I do go into these “things” with some sort of a goal, it’s not often time oriented, it’s most often to finish, feeling comfortable, or help to pace someone else to their time goal or first event at that distance.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love seeing the look on someone’s face when they finish their first half marathon within their own time goal. I take such pride in their accomplishment, and the fact that they let me share in this with them.
Is this selfish of me?
Does this simply make me a nurturer of the “running family” that I’m so blessed to be a part of?
I just don’t know. Perhaps it takes the pressure off of me to perform better myself? Do I use it as an excuse to slag off on my own runs sometimes? Or am I afraid of pushing myself to the limit, actually training for something properly and with an ultimate goal at the end of the road… A lot of things for me to think about over the next couple of months I guess…
I have a “duplicate” medal from ATB last year as we originally got the wrong medals for completing the relay. I tucked it in with my other medals for some reason, but it came to me last night. I’m going to flip it around and hang it backwards on my bathroom mirror…
Then I can put a sticky-note on it with a real, honest to goodness GOAL (for me) for sometime in 2007….
More to come on that goal in the next 5 weeks or so, stay tuned! =)
Monday, February 26, 2007
Look at me... 2 posts in a month ;)
Here I am again... trying to post at least once every couple of weeks, just to update "stuff"...
Need to get track with my body reno... I need to start tracking my food better, and have begun to stock the fridge with more fruits & veggies, and need to get cooking again. That will resolve the panic dinners. I'm down a couple of pounds over the past 2 weeks, so that's a good place to start.
Running has been going OK, but the weather sucks - ran 7K into 30-40KM wind gusts yesterday, that was nasteee, which ended up cutting a planned 25K down to 16. But I'd done a wicked 90 minute spin & 30 minute pre-post warm up/cool down the night before, so that kind of makes up the difference, doesn't it ;)
Chilly Half-marathon is coming up this weekend, then Around the Bay a few weeks later... 30K - that will be my longest distance to date, 2 1/2 years of running to get to this point... we'll see where I go from there ;)
As for "life" stuff - wrapping up the last final things with "T"... he's moved out of his sister's place finally only to be living a block away from me...while this whole thing has been extremely amicable & has gone very well - he could have moved somewhere, well - not so freaking close!
Cest la-vie... I'll survive, he'll survive.. live will go on...
T-out!
Need to get track with my body reno... I need to start tracking my food better, and have begun to stock the fridge with more fruits & veggies, and need to get cooking again. That will resolve the panic dinners. I'm down a couple of pounds over the past 2 weeks, so that's a good place to start.
Running has been going OK, but the weather sucks - ran 7K into 30-40KM wind gusts yesterday, that was nasteee, which ended up cutting a planned 25K down to 16. But I'd done a wicked 90 minute spin & 30 minute pre-post warm up/cool down the night before, so that kind of makes up the difference, doesn't it ;)
Chilly Half-marathon is coming up this weekend, then Around the Bay a few weeks later... 30K - that will be my longest distance to date, 2 1/2 years of running to get to this point... we'll see where I go from there ;)
As for "life" stuff - wrapping up the last final things with "T"... he's moved out of his sister's place finally only to be living a block away from me...while this whole thing has been extremely amicable & has gone very well - he could have moved somewhere, well - not so freaking close!
Cest la-vie... I'll survive, he'll survive.. live will go on...
T-out!
Saturday, February 10, 2007
I am sorry my poor little blog...
Sorry for neglecting you for so long...
I am a bad, bad blogger... lol
I've decided that I need to get things in my "house" back in order...that includes my eating, which has gotten completely out of control, my lack of motivation for running (too many events looming ever so close on the calendar) reading more: http://www.bookcloseouts.com/?N=0&rid=cvs this is a great site, with FANTASTIC prices & very reasonable shipping charges... and getting back to journalling, which in turn means getting some of that stuff on my blog, not all of course.. a girl has to have a secret or two, or three ;)
I realized today that I haven't run since January 28.. It doesn't seem like it's been that long, but sadly it has, our extra cold weather has been a pretty lame excuse seeing as I have a treadmill available in my building.
So today I made a deal, a couple of friends were running 18K in the Toronto area, so I went out around the same time as they did... sort of virtual running buddies you may say. That helped give me the boost I needed to get my @ss in gear. I decided to do my run on the treadmill, as I'm also breaking in a second pair of shoes. This enabled me to switch out shoes if I needed to...
While I went to the gym with a towel, loaded up MP3 player, water bottle & a couple of gels. What I neglected to remember was body glide... My planned 11.2 mile/18K, was cut short about 90 minutes into the planned 2:15. Getting in the shower was, well - not very fun :(
Lesson learned, and I'm going to try this again on Monday or Tuesday after work.
Swimming is going very well. That, I have been keeping up with, and I've had a couple of real break-through pool sessions so far this year.
And the hunt for a sports-specific Registered Dietitian starts on Monday... this is the final key to the puzzle I hope...
So, my poor little blog, I vow not to ignore you or neglect you unnecessarily...
HONEST... :)
I am a bad, bad blogger... lol
I've decided that I need to get things in my "house" back in order...that includes my eating, which has gotten completely out of control, my lack of motivation for running (too many events looming ever so close on the calendar) reading more: http://www.bookcloseouts.com/?N=0&rid=cvs this is a great site, with FANTASTIC prices & very reasonable shipping charges... and getting back to journalling, which in turn means getting some of that stuff on my blog, not all of course.. a girl has to have a secret or two, or three ;)
I realized today that I haven't run since January 28.. It doesn't seem like it's been that long, but sadly it has, our extra cold weather has been a pretty lame excuse seeing as I have a treadmill available in my building.
So today I made a deal, a couple of friends were running 18K in the Toronto area, so I went out around the same time as they did... sort of virtual running buddies you may say. That helped give me the boost I needed to get my @ss in gear. I decided to do my run on the treadmill, as I'm also breaking in a second pair of shoes. This enabled me to switch out shoes if I needed to...
While I went to the gym with a towel, loaded up MP3 player, water bottle & a couple of gels. What I neglected to remember was body glide... My planned 11.2 mile/18K, was cut short about 90 minutes into the planned 2:15. Getting in the shower was, well - not very fun :(
Lesson learned, and I'm going to try this again on Monday or Tuesday after work.
Swimming is going very well. That, I have been keeping up with, and I've had a couple of real break-through pool sessions so far this year.
And the hunt for a sports-specific Registered Dietitian starts on Monday... this is the final key to the puzzle I hope...
So, my poor little blog, I vow not to ignore you or neglect you unnecessarily...
HONEST... :)
Friday, December 29, 2006
Wrapping up the year....
Ragsthecat says "Happy Holidays"
OMG - It has been FOREVER since I've posted... just way too busy with life, and everything else I guess. I did have a draft in here from a couple of weeks ago, but with the switch I guess it's long gone :( I can't even remember what it was about now...
So... what have I been up to? I spent September through last week instructing a For Women Only run clinic. 40+ chicas from University age to mid/late 50's. Talk about an inspiration to me. While the group dwindled down as the 10 weeks went on, several people stuck with it right through & never missed a group practice - some even running on their vacations.
But now it's time to train for me again - I'm gearing up to run 30K at the end of March. I publicly declared it to my on-line crew a few months ago, so now I HAVE to to it, right? ;) I've returned to the pool regularly with some coaching & have had a number of light bulb moments to boot! Spinning once a week for 90 minutes with a psycho (but in a good way) instructor. All I have to do now is put the Dolphin on the trainer to do some indoor rides. Next comes a bit of weight training (I need to find the time to fit that in as well?)
I've also been on vacation from work this past week. I decided to really clear stuff up so I can start 2007 bright & shiny, the baggage of early 2006 a distant memory. I've purged some more, packed up the last of "T's" stuff to drop off to him and re-decorated a bit.
My new place truly is mine now. Girly bedroom stuff, all the colours I want - it finally is a reflection of me!
And that feels wonderful.
OMG - It has been FOREVER since I've posted... just way too busy with life, and everything else I guess. I did have a draft in here from a couple of weeks ago, but with the switch I guess it's long gone :( I can't even remember what it was about now...
So... what have I been up to? I spent September through last week instructing a For Women Only run clinic. 40+ chicas from University age to mid/late 50's. Talk about an inspiration to me. While the group dwindled down as the 10 weeks went on, several people stuck with it right through & never missed a group practice - some even running on their vacations.
But now it's time to train for me again - I'm gearing up to run 30K at the end of March. I publicly declared it to my on-line crew a few months ago, so now I HAVE to to it, right? ;) I've returned to the pool regularly with some coaching & have had a number of light bulb moments to boot! Spinning once a week for 90 minutes with a psycho (but in a good way) instructor. All I have to do now is put the Dolphin on the trainer to do some indoor rides. Next comes a bit of weight training (I need to find the time to fit that in as well?)
I've also been on vacation from work this past week. I decided to really clear stuff up so I can start 2007 bright & shiny, the baggage of early 2006 a distant memory. I've purged some more, packed up the last of "T's" stuff to drop off to him and re-decorated a bit.
My new place truly is mine now. Girly bedroom stuff, all the colours I want - it finally is a reflection of me!
And that feels wonderful.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
I'm a Motor City Maniac!
FEMALE AGE GROUP: 40 - 44
Place/Overall/Gun time/Chip Time/Pace
204 / 3070 / 2:25:53 / 2:22:18 / 10:52
A PB, not quite (just over 5 minutes off)
Am I pleased? Bet your tighty whities I am!
I didn't have any expectations other than to finish around 2:10-2:20, not knowing if that was reality, or if I was just kidding myself. After a summer of really putting the "S" in my long, slow runs, I have been beating myself up about returning to long runs with a 6:30-6:50/Km pace. Getting over the border on Saturday without so much as a line up was a good sign. Seeing every Running Maniac at the Expo was a plus, having dinner, good conversation, bread, chocolate & wine with B, P & H - Bonus! Being able to spend some pre-marathon time with E before her first full, and seeing her finish that full with an ear to ear face busting smile - Priceless!
My only issue on Sunday is that I had inadvertently picked up whole milk instead of 1% or skim for my cereal didn't quite sit in my tummy that well. B & I managed to find each other at the coral & we ran together the first 10+ km until I had to absolutely stop at a rest station, the first time I've ever had to do this during a race in fact. Until Sunday, I had never run straight through (no walk breaks) beyond the 5K mark. I ran with B right until that stop, with a 1:02:xx 10K time (just a few seconds off of my 10K PB from 2005!). I now have the confidence that I can run without the walk breaks for longer distances & I think I am going to work on that over the winter. Managing to find & run with G a couple of times was fantastic as we've never run together in a race situation. After my break, my belly wasn't overly happy but I motored on. Going through the Windsor/Detroit tunnel was the coolest part of this race!
Approaching the last mile, I decided to let go, to leave nothing out there and see if I could make up a bit of time that I had lost because of the milk issues. Rounding the corner into Ford Field & down the ramp (much better than Copp's in Hamilton for sure!) was amazing & I took full advantage of the downhill, flying around the corner & pushing to the finish line, picking off one or two poor souls in the process. Finish time, well until I saw the posted results on Monday, I had no clue other than a gun time of 2:25 something. All that I cared was that I was happy, and pleased with the fact that I pushed myself out there today when I could.
This has been such a journey for me the past 6 months. I think of how beat up & broken I felt after Ottawa & how pleased I was yesterday. It is such a contrast. And I did it with a little help from some great friends, who I give my deepest thanks. Ottawa was the dark cloud in the middle of the storm & Detroit (albeit windy!) was the sunshine peeking through, and the silver lining.
~~~~~~
I guess that's exactly how I had envisioned ending the season of 2006 - on a high note.... Started high in April, came crashing down around me in May and then by relaxing, having fun & getting enjoyment out of running, I found my groove. Yes, it was at the end of the season, but I GOT IT BACK BABY! That's all that matters in my world ;)
2 days post race & I'm still a bit stiff - please don't ask me to take the stairs between floors at the office - it will take me far too long lol.
I finally have "T" looking after all of the little separation details that have been nagging at me as well. I gave him a list a few weeks ago, and I'm happy to say that he's looked after much of it already. Bitersweet - yes, he was the person that I vowed to be with, for better or worse, rich or poor... all that stuff. It just wasn't meant to be. I've accepted that fact and am prepared to continue making strides forward...
Searching for what I truly deserve in my life....
Place/Overall/Gun time/Chip Time/Pace
204 / 3070 / 2:25:53 / 2:22:18 / 10:52
A PB, not quite (just over 5 minutes off)
Am I pleased? Bet your tighty whities I am!
I didn't have any expectations other than to finish around 2:10-2:20, not knowing if that was reality, or if I was just kidding myself. After a summer of really putting the "S" in my long, slow runs, I have been beating myself up about returning to long runs with a 6:30-6:50/Km pace. Getting over the border on Saturday without so much as a line up was a good sign. Seeing every Running Maniac at the Expo was a plus, having dinner, good conversation, bread, chocolate & wine with B, P & H - Bonus! Being able to spend some pre-marathon time with E before her first full, and seeing her finish that full with an ear to ear face busting smile - Priceless!
My only issue on Sunday is that I had inadvertently picked up whole milk instead of 1% or skim for my cereal didn't quite sit in my tummy that well. B & I managed to find each other at the coral & we ran together the first 10+ km until I had to absolutely stop at a rest station, the first time I've ever had to do this during a race in fact. Until Sunday, I had never run straight through (no walk breaks) beyond the 5K mark. I ran with B right until that stop, with a 1:02:xx 10K time (just a few seconds off of my 10K PB from 2005!). I now have the confidence that I can run without the walk breaks for longer distances & I think I am going to work on that over the winter. Managing to find & run with G a couple of times was fantastic as we've never run together in a race situation. After my break, my belly wasn't overly happy but I motored on. Going through the Windsor/Detroit tunnel was the coolest part of this race!
Approaching the last mile, I decided to let go, to leave nothing out there and see if I could make up a bit of time that I had lost because of the milk issues. Rounding the corner into Ford Field & down the ramp (much better than Copp's in Hamilton for sure!) was amazing & I took full advantage of the downhill, flying around the corner & pushing to the finish line, picking off one or two poor souls in the process. Finish time, well until I saw the posted results on Monday, I had no clue other than a gun time of 2:25 something. All that I cared was that I was happy, and pleased with the fact that I pushed myself out there today when I could.
This has been such a journey for me the past 6 months. I think of how beat up & broken I felt after Ottawa & how pleased I was yesterday. It is such a contrast. And I did it with a little help from some great friends, who I give my deepest thanks. Ottawa was the dark cloud in the middle of the storm & Detroit (albeit windy!) was the sunshine peeking through, and the silver lining.
~~~~~~
I guess that's exactly how I had envisioned ending the season of 2006 - on a high note.... Started high in April, came crashing down around me in May and then by relaxing, having fun & getting enjoyment out of running, I found my groove. Yes, it was at the end of the season, but I GOT IT BACK BABY! That's all that matters in my world ;)
2 days post race & I'm still a bit stiff - please don't ask me to take the stairs between floors at the office - it will take me far too long lol.
I finally have "T" looking after all of the little separation details that have been nagging at me as well. I gave him a list a few weeks ago, and I'm happy to say that he's looked after much of it already. Bitersweet - yes, he was the person that I vowed to be with, for better or worse, rich or poor... all that stuff. It just wasn't meant to be. I've accepted that fact and am prepared to continue making strides forward...
Searching for what I truly deserve in my life....
Sunday, October 08, 2006
I give thanks....
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
From time to time, looking deep inside your own heart is the very best way to see the truth about world around you. If you feel you are moving into an introspective, inward-focused time, then just go with it. The universe is reminding you that you are the most important thing in your life. After all, if you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of the people you love? It's not selfish. It's smart. The answers lie within you.
~~~~~~~~~
Funny that I read this today, as this is what I've been doing all weekend... While I've never been one to read my horoscope other than for pure entertainment & and an occasional laugh, this one that shows up on my Yahoo home page every day seems to be one that I do pay attention to every once in a while.
Holidays this week... Booked way in advance & I never got around to changing them. This is T's birthday "week" yes, you heard me right WEEK... I would take the week off and every day was a gift (usually small & goofy) his favorite things for dinner at night... The list goes on.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided that instead of dreading this week, I would take it as MY OWN. I have numerous books that I intend to read. Some fluff, mostly things that I can't wait to get into. Rented a couple of movies... Things like that. I'm also going to set up the curriculum for my Women's Learn to Run class that starts in a week.
Yesterday I needed to clear the cobwebs so what started out as a 20-25K easy ride north of the city ended up being 49-50K with a bunch of sprints & hill climbing thrown in for good measure. I didn't realize how much I needed that. It was a gorgeous fall day so getting out in the countryside, checking out the farms (realizing how much I miss horseback riding... ) ignoring the rude drivers... Felt good to have the fresh air in my lungs, the sun on my face & the wind at my back... Today my planned 20K dropped to an easy 9K after yesterdays extended kms. Again, I decided to make it MY run & loved every minute of it.
Life is good...
Tracy - out.
From time to time, looking deep inside your own heart is the very best way to see the truth about world around you. If you feel you are moving into an introspective, inward-focused time, then just go with it. The universe is reminding you that you are the most important thing in your life. After all, if you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of the people you love? It's not selfish. It's smart. The answers lie within you.
~~~~~~~~~
Funny that I read this today, as this is what I've been doing all weekend... While I've never been one to read my horoscope other than for pure entertainment & and an occasional laugh, this one that shows up on my Yahoo home page every day seems to be one that I do pay attention to every once in a while.
Holidays this week... Booked way in advance & I never got around to changing them. This is T's birthday "week" yes, you heard me right WEEK... I would take the week off and every day was a gift (usually small & goofy) his favorite things for dinner at night... The list goes on.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided that instead of dreading this week, I would take it as MY OWN. I have numerous books that I intend to read. Some fluff, mostly things that I can't wait to get into. Rented a couple of movies... Things like that. I'm also going to set up the curriculum for my Women's Learn to Run class that starts in a week.
Yesterday I needed to clear the cobwebs so what started out as a 20-25K easy ride north of the city ended up being 49-50K with a bunch of sprints & hill climbing thrown in for good measure. I didn't realize how much I needed that. It was a gorgeous fall day so getting out in the countryside, checking out the farms (realizing how much I miss horseback riding... ) ignoring the rude drivers... Felt good to have the fresh air in my lungs, the sun on my face & the wind at my back... Today my planned 20K dropped to an easy 9K after yesterdays extended kms. Again, I decided to make it MY run & loved every minute of it.
Life is good...
Tracy - out.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Life seems to be unfolding as I want it to…
I haven’t abandoned my blog, I’ve just been carazzzzy busy the past few weeks with training, racing, work & well, life in general. Overall, this has been an extremely eye-opening and enlightening few weeks for me though. One day, I may go into further detail ;-)
I have sort of come to the realization that what happened during my last post may have been more of an anxiety or panic attack more than anything else. I had been holding so much in for so long that it just had to come out, it just took about 4-5 hours to get it all out of my system. The next morning was a bit rough too, and it took me a good 45 minutes to get out the door for my run. I kept finding excuses not to go, I forgot this, needed to change that… the list went on. I never want to have that happen again, so I’ve been doing a lot of reading & soul searching. L & A came to my rescue that weekend & Sunday morning after my run, I went to visit them for the day/evening. It was just what I needed – to be away from home, out of the city & to be in a comfortable surrounding with people who understand what I was going through. That helped so much that I can’t even express it in words.
The following weekend, I did my first Tri of the season; well needless to say, I had a bit of a freak out in the water (argghhh) and only completed one of two loops of the course. I did beat last years swim time by a couple of minutes though! I just couldn’t face doing it all over again. I did have a great day in the end surrounded by friends who know and understand what I’ve been going through.
So fast forward a couple of weeks (don’t worry, I’ve been doing just fabulous!) to Scotia Waterfront-half marathon. This was the crowning glory to the summer of helping my clinic group to their first half. September 24 wasn’t really about me, but deep down inside it was –(does that make me selfish?) I got to see so many happy smiling faces, and to help someone who was struggling to finish 5 or more minutes faster than her projected time. I think my face hurt from the smiles that weekend. I also got a chance to catch up with 30 or so of my “best friends from the internet”, which always leaves me feeling happy. YOU GUYS ROCK, and continue to amaze me with your support.
This past weekend was my redemption for the September 2 trail fiasco… Revenge is sweet (although the dish was a bit cold because I took way longer than I had expected)… I accomplished a lot this past Saturday, my longest distance ever (25K) finished with a face splitting goofy grin and I ran the last 1.5K full out as I had been holding back.. It felt good to finish with that “run ‘till you puke” feeling because I had very little left in me. Well, I must have had something left in me, because I’m contemplating heading out for an hour or so tonight if I still feel like it.
I’ve also been doing a whole lot of soul searching, with a bit of help & guidance from what I hope to be a new friend… Thanks K. You’ve opened my eyes to a lot of things that I knew existed and held myself back from looking at with any depth.
I have sort of come to the realization that what happened during my last post may have been more of an anxiety or panic attack more than anything else. I had been holding so much in for so long that it just had to come out, it just took about 4-5 hours to get it all out of my system. The next morning was a bit rough too, and it took me a good 45 minutes to get out the door for my run. I kept finding excuses not to go, I forgot this, needed to change that… the list went on. I never want to have that happen again, so I’ve been doing a lot of reading & soul searching. L & A came to my rescue that weekend & Sunday morning after my run, I went to visit them for the day/evening. It was just what I needed – to be away from home, out of the city & to be in a comfortable surrounding with people who understand what I was going through. That helped so much that I can’t even express it in words.
The following weekend, I did my first Tri of the season; well needless to say, I had a bit of a freak out in the water (argghhh) and only completed one of two loops of the course. I did beat last years swim time by a couple of minutes though! I just couldn’t face doing it all over again. I did have a great day in the end surrounded by friends who know and understand what I’ve been going through.
So fast forward a couple of weeks (don’t worry, I’ve been doing just fabulous!) to Scotia Waterfront-half marathon. This was the crowning glory to the summer of helping my clinic group to their first half. September 24 wasn’t really about me, but deep down inside it was –(does that make me selfish?) I got to see so many happy smiling faces, and to help someone who was struggling to finish 5 or more minutes faster than her projected time. I think my face hurt from the smiles that weekend. I also got a chance to catch up with 30 or so of my “best friends from the internet”, which always leaves me feeling happy. YOU GUYS ROCK, and continue to amaze me with your support.
This past weekend was my redemption for the September 2 trail fiasco… Revenge is sweet (although the dish was a bit cold because I took way longer than I had expected)… I accomplished a lot this past Saturday, my longest distance ever (25K) finished with a face splitting goofy grin and I ran the last 1.5K full out as I had been holding back.. It felt good to finish with that “run ‘till you puke” feeling because I had very little left in me. Well, I must have had something left in me, because I’m contemplating heading out for an hour or so tonight if I still feel like it.
I’ve also been doing a whole lot of soul searching, with a bit of help & guidance from what I hope to be a new friend… Thanks K. You’ve opened my eyes to a lot of things that I knew existed and held myself back from looking at with any depth.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Rough day...
My horoscope for September 2, 2006
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
You're like a box with its lid closed tightly right now ... all the creativity, beauty and intricacies deep inside of you are hidden from view. Very few people have the energy, attitude or impetus to pry open your lid, but that's not a personal indictment of you. If people aren't pushing to know you better, you need to take your lid off and show them all the wonderful things you have to offer. Open yourself up to everyone today. Express yourself. –
Man, I am going to have to read this stupid thing in the morning and not at 10:00 PM…
Long day today and I’m wiped both physically and emotionally. I ran my first trail race this morning. I had registered for the 20K (what was I thinking) and ended up rolling my ankle about 7-8K in – WALKING! How’s that for dumb luck… Not a sprain, but enough to spook me & haul my sorry ass of the course. I did have a great time out there in general though, and got a chance to catch up with my closest friends from the internet!
On the way home, I just became overwhelmed with sadness. So much so, that I took the scenic back roads home instead of the major highway. I was actually afraid that I would not be able to concentrate fully enough to drive on the highway. I managed to get home (barely) and immediately filled the tub to soak away my inner & outer aches. While it helped with the physical, the mental only got worse…. I cried uncontrollably for about 2 hours once I got home. I finally broke down & called “T” as I think that is what was getting me down. It’s now been 4 months since we have separated, and we don’t really seem to have gotten anywhere. Now I know that we had both agreed to take the summer for ourselves but we barely spent any of the “date” time that we had discussed, and I feel him slipping away from me, which is what the basis of my sadness is. I feel like I have failed him, and myself. He seems to think that I like the idea of being married, more than being married specifically to him… if that had been the case, I would have been gone a long time ago – at the beginning of the business problems, legal issues & money woes. I guess he figures I stuck around for the fun of it all.
Both he & his sister think that I am so happy now to be on my own… I told him that’s what I want people to see… I don’t want them to see that inward, I’m flailing – more-so on some days than others. Perhaps it’s time to loosen up the lid on my own as I certainly don’t think anyone has the energy or need to pry open that lid without my help.
We ended up spending a couple of hours talking, but not much came out of it IMHO. Am I still sad, Yes… as sad as I was a few hours ago – not quite, but still pretty bad. Do I have any better idea of what is to become of my marriage – no clue….. Not too productive in the end I guess.
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
You're like a box with its lid closed tightly right now ... all the creativity, beauty and intricacies deep inside of you are hidden from view. Very few people have the energy, attitude or impetus to pry open your lid, but that's not a personal indictment of you. If people aren't pushing to know you better, you need to take your lid off and show them all the wonderful things you have to offer. Open yourself up to everyone today. Express yourself. –
Man, I am going to have to read this stupid thing in the morning and not at 10:00 PM…
Long day today and I’m wiped both physically and emotionally. I ran my first trail race this morning. I had registered for the 20K (what was I thinking) and ended up rolling my ankle about 7-8K in – WALKING! How’s that for dumb luck… Not a sprain, but enough to spook me & haul my sorry ass of the course. I did have a great time out there in general though, and got a chance to catch up with my closest friends from the internet!
On the way home, I just became overwhelmed with sadness. So much so, that I took the scenic back roads home instead of the major highway. I was actually afraid that I would not be able to concentrate fully enough to drive on the highway. I managed to get home (barely) and immediately filled the tub to soak away my inner & outer aches. While it helped with the physical, the mental only got worse…. I cried uncontrollably for about 2 hours once I got home. I finally broke down & called “T” as I think that is what was getting me down. It’s now been 4 months since we have separated, and we don’t really seem to have gotten anywhere. Now I know that we had both agreed to take the summer for ourselves but we barely spent any of the “date” time that we had discussed, and I feel him slipping away from me, which is what the basis of my sadness is. I feel like I have failed him, and myself. He seems to think that I like the idea of being married, more than being married specifically to him… if that had been the case, I would have been gone a long time ago – at the beginning of the business problems, legal issues & money woes. I guess he figures I stuck around for the fun of it all.
Both he & his sister think that I am so happy now to be on my own… I told him that’s what I want people to see… I don’t want them to see that inward, I’m flailing – more-so on some days than others. Perhaps it’s time to loosen up the lid on my own as I certainly don’t think anyone has the energy or need to pry open that lid without my help.
We ended up spending a couple of hours talking, but not much came out of it IMHO. Am I still sad, Yes… as sad as I was a few hours ago – not quite, but still pretty bad. Do I have any better idea of what is to become of my marriage – no clue….. Not too productive in the end I guess.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Mud Sweat & Tears - let the pictures tell the story!
My first (and probably only ever) Podium Finish!August 27, 2006 … Chatham Bulldogs Triathlon/Duathlon.
The weather was crap! I listened to the rain all night long, drove an hour to the race in the rain, waited around for the start in the rain & raced in the rain! Oh yeah, and the mud and the mosquitos during the final run! Was it worth it? In the end yep!
To continue on with my summer of no real training or focus, I actually went into this race semi-prepared! I had done a couple of rides through the week, carbo-loaded for dinner on Saturday & was pretty well rested. Then came the rain. Funny thing is, on Saturday afternoon after riding, we were talking about racing in the rain & what problems you can run into on the bike. Then I admitted that I haven’t even ridden my bike in the rain, let alone raced it. Somebody was listening! Because I had quite the learning experience the following morning! :-)
The first run was great, I went out quickly & after a point you just couldn’t dodge the puddles anymore, I said to hell with it & ran through them if I had to. 12:09 for the initial 2K run. I thought I took my time in transition, but according to the chip times I wasn’t too bad. The bike sucked wind at first, but it always does for me because I push too much on my first run – one day I will learn, really I will! While I love the flat, fast course in this race, you are pedaling, ALL the time! My clothes were already soaked through from the pre-race & first run leg, and I could actually feel the water draining out of the bottom of my bike shoes while I was pedaling. GROSS! My handlebars were wet, my aero bars & seat were wet, at times I couldn’t even see my bike computer because of the water on it! But, I managed to stay upright & tried to keep as close to 30K per hour as much as I possibly could. It took a good 4 kilometers to stop sucking wind, but I got my breathing sorted out finally. I just kept thinking, this is only 20K – I have friends in Penticton today racing Iron Man Canada – they had to do 180 kilometers today. That’s when I kept repeating “suck it up buttercup” over & over in my head… Tim gave me that one… I also threw in a “princess” every once in a while! I managed an average speed of 27.08K per hour on the bike – not bad as I think I managed an average around 23 or 24 k per hour last year. I took my time in transition this time… I was so wet that I could barely get my running shoes back on. The towel that I had thrown over my gear was soaked & luckily I had put my running shoes upside down under the towel – at least they weren’t full of water! I choked back a Chocolate Hammer Gel – blech, but it was all I had at home. Threw my hat on & hit the trail back into the woods.
This is where it fell apart – I really have to work on my “mental” game if I intend to race. I have the physical ability, but my head starts telling me otherwise. I probably walked half of the stupid little 5K course. Luckily though only a couple of people passed me, which was actually quite shocking. I guess I wasn’t the only one who was having a bad day. Because we were running a dirt road through the woods, the mosquitoes were incredible. I have bites on my arms & legs & I think I can still hear the little buggers buzzing around my ears! I did manage to run in the final kilometer though. All said and done in 1:37:32… 13 minutes SLOWER than last years race – that was all because of the second run. My first run was on par with 2005, and my bike had improved. Had I not let my head win the game on the second run, I would have easily beat my 1:24 time.
Here’s the best – this is a pretty small race. There were probably only 40-50 people doing the Sprint Duathlon in total. Last year they went in 10 year age categories for placement. This year, they decided to go all out & get medals & the whole thing. They went in 5 year age categories & I Silvered in my age…
No-one else has to know that there were only 2 of us in the age group though!
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Why is it that we can’t see ourselves as others see us?
I’m in one of those moods this weekend (I’ll blame it on the antibiotics)… feelin’ a bit philosophical.
Why is it that we can’t see ourselves as others see us?
Yesterday in www.runningmania.com, a group of us decided to sent our inner critic/inner child off to camp for the day. It truly was a great & very cleansing exercise once the day was said and done. Of course, the females of the group had much more critical and devious inner critics, while the guys didn’t have the issues that we did. Of course the common thread for the women consisted of the typical stuff: weight, body type, weakness, inability to succeed… you get the idea.
Towards the end of the day, “K” suggested that we each write down something that we love about ourselves… This was hard, for me anyhow. This is what I eventually came up with:
So, what do I love about myself... the person that I have become in the past few years. I think that it has something to do with finally becoming an "adult". I'm not as afraid to stand up for myself as I used to be & I don't put up with bull-crap anymore. My determination & sense of humor also come to mind....
Nothing too mind blowing, but I managed. Shortly after this, we were challenged to write what we appreciated about each other… now keep in mind that while I have actually met many of the group participating in this little exorcism, I have also never met a large number of the “nation”. I was absolutely speechless at what people thought of me:
Tracy- what I appreciate about you is you share your journey
Tracy...your tenacity...that is simply the word that comes to mind...
Tracy, what I like about you is your sensitivity and the fact that you're not ashamed of it. I also appreciate your unconditional support
Tracy: What I love about you is you seem to have no limits. You just keep trying new things and add them to that being who is the ever-evolving Tracy
These things literally brought me to tears, as they are the last words that I would ever consider using to describe myself…It’s so funny that we never quite see each other as the world sees us….
Why must it be that way?
Something to think about.....
Why is it that we can’t see ourselves as others see us?
Yesterday in www.runningmania.com, a group of us decided to sent our inner critic/inner child off to camp for the day. It truly was a great & very cleansing exercise once the day was said and done. Of course, the females of the group had much more critical and devious inner critics, while the guys didn’t have the issues that we did. Of course the common thread for the women consisted of the typical stuff: weight, body type, weakness, inability to succeed… you get the idea.
Towards the end of the day, “K” suggested that we each write down something that we love about ourselves… This was hard, for me anyhow. This is what I eventually came up with:
So, what do I love about myself... the person that I have become in the past few years. I think that it has something to do with finally becoming an "adult". I'm not as afraid to stand up for myself as I used to be & I don't put up with bull-crap anymore. My determination & sense of humor also come to mind....
Nothing too mind blowing, but I managed. Shortly after this, we were challenged to write what we appreciated about each other… now keep in mind that while I have actually met many of the group participating in this little exorcism, I have also never met a large number of the “nation”. I was absolutely speechless at what people thought of me:
Tracy- what I appreciate about you is you share your journey
Tracy...your tenacity...that is simply the word that comes to mind...
Tracy, what I like about you is your sensitivity and the fact that you're not ashamed of it. I also appreciate your unconditional support
Tracy: What I love about you is you seem to have no limits. You just keep trying new things and add them to that being who is the ever-evolving Tracy
These things literally brought me to tears, as they are the last words that I would ever consider using to describe myself…It’s so funny that we never quite see each other as the world sees us….
Why must it be that way?
Something to think about.....
Sunday, August 13, 2006
So this is what life will be like???
Well, I’ve almost ended a short (but really long) week that I managed to fill up very quickly! I managed to get some good quality workouts in: 2 hours at the pool and a long run to a hill workout. Here I was thinking that I was doing so well in the pool, but I found out that once again – my hips & legs are dropping, so I had to spend some time focusing on balance again Thursday night – all that thinking while I’m in the pool - I forget to breathe properly…
Tim and I went for “date night” this week – first time in a while it seems. We hit the Rib-Festival on Monday evening for BBQ, a walk through the park & a good chat on a park bench! One moment, he’s saying that he enjoys not having anyone worry about him (little does he know) and coming & going as he pleases from his sister’s house – being single. Then 20 minutes later he’s introducing me to a customer as his wife :?…. Well, I am his wife, but it’s just well – weird (that’s the only word that I can find to describe the situation) I had totally forgotten to remind him that I had gotten Dixie Chicks tickets for tonight (I got them in June), so I e-mailed him Tuesday to remind him. Thursday night I get an e-mail telling me that he’s in a golf tournament on Monday & doesn’t think that he’ll be able to do both (he is still having major sleep issues) so he’s going to pass on the concert & hopes I can find someone to take the extra ticket… UGH – MEN… So, I’m away all weekend at the cottage – how on earth am I going to find someone. Luckily my friend Trix (name changed to protect the innocent - lol) came to the rescue.
I had a great time with the girls at the cottage for our annual “Girls weekend”. So much has happened to all of us this past year it’s hard to fathom when you put it all down. Of the 7 of us attending this year (we’re down 3 from our normal crew due to other things that have come up) there are 2 separations/divorces, a difficult business/marriage situation, adoption of a child, completion of treatment for breast cancer… the list goes on. I guess though, that we’re all at the stage in our life (40’s ACK, when DID that happen?) where we are deciding that enough is enough & finally doing what’s right for us.
I also got a potential taste of what single life may be like (should Tim & I decide to go our separate ways) while we were at the cottage – I don’t really like that taste… blech. (well I never really did like the whole looking/dating thing to begin with) I am not in any way interested in
a: someone my father’s age,
b: someone who could pass for my own child!
Life will be rough out there I think.
Tim and I went for “date night” this week – first time in a while it seems. We hit the Rib-Festival on Monday evening for BBQ, a walk through the park & a good chat on a park bench! One moment, he’s saying that he enjoys not having anyone worry about him (little does he know) and coming & going as he pleases from his sister’s house – being single. Then 20 minutes later he’s introducing me to a customer as his wife :?…. Well, I am his wife, but it’s just well – weird (that’s the only word that I can find to describe the situation) I had totally forgotten to remind him that I had gotten Dixie Chicks tickets for tonight (I got them in June), so I e-mailed him Tuesday to remind him. Thursday night I get an e-mail telling me that he’s in a golf tournament on Monday & doesn’t think that he’ll be able to do both (he is still having major sleep issues) so he’s going to pass on the concert & hopes I can find someone to take the extra ticket… UGH – MEN… So, I’m away all weekend at the cottage – how on earth am I going to find someone. Luckily my friend Trix (name changed to protect the innocent - lol) came to the rescue.
I had a great time with the girls at the cottage for our annual “Girls weekend”. So much has happened to all of us this past year it’s hard to fathom when you put it all down. Of the 7 of us attending this year (we’re down 3 from our normal crew due to other things that have come up) there are 2 separations/divorces, a difficult business/marriage situation, adoption of a child, completion of treatment for breast cancer… the list goes on. I guess though, that we’re all at the stage in our life (40’s ACK, when DID that happen?) where we are deciding that enough is enough & finally doing what’s right for us.
I also got a potential taste of what single life may be like (should Tim & I decide to go our separate ways) while we were at the cottage – I don’t really like that taste… blech. (well I never really did like the whole looking/dating thing to begin with) I am not in any way interested in
a: someone my father’s age,
b: someone who could pass for my own child!
Life will be rough out there I think.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
My weekend has been busy so far!
OK, so I noticed this on my home page Horoscope on Saturday evening at about 7:48 PM:
“Rushing through this day is not going to be the right strategy -- instead, you need to take things one step at a time and not worry about anyone who may (or may not) be hot on your tail. Getting too caught up in a competitive vibe will only add stress to any otherwise pleasant day. Be content with where you are -- the progress you're making is respectable. Perhaps you're not exactly where you want to be right now, but who is? Count your blessings and choose to be content.”
All I can say is WOW… The last part is pretty much my post here on Friday, and the first part described my morning exactly!
Saturday started out with a group ride for the cycling team. My 35K “buddy” must have slept in & didn’t show (Janet, where are you?) So, there were only 2 of us planning to ride 35K. We decided to go with the s-l-o-w 50K crew.
Well…. A couple of the guys were going to be racing at Bellwood on Sunday, so they proclaimed they wanted an EASY 50K (they normally ride with the speed demon 50K group)… They took off in the lead with the rest of us (well I know that I was anyhow!) peddling like crazy to keep up. My speedometer isn’t working right now (mental note to check the connections), but I know we were keeping our average speed around 30 KPH… WAY TOO FAST for me on a ride that long. After about 30 minutes of that, the other 30K rider & I turned back to return. We had a really great ride back, with lots of hill climbing – Yep; I like it as much as I like running hills! (Honest, I really do like them!) It just wasn’t worth expending all my energy on Saturday morning when I still had a long run Sunday and the rest of a long weekend to go!
Saturday night I got an impromptu visit from Leslie, Alex, Lorna & Jess! It was nice to have people call & pop over… We headed to the park for Rib-Fest & wandered about for a bit. Tim also called earlier in the afternoon to make plans for Monday (YAY!)… We’re going to get Ribs for dinner… if I have to use food to entice him for “date time” then so be it (for now…) Things are progressing with his old business issues which is good to know, having that weight finally lifted off of his shoulders will be an incredible relief for everyone.
My long run was very up & down (literally & physically) this morning. None of my “back of the pack” crew showed today, so I went out with a faster group. Nice to run with them at my normal pace for a few kilometers. Then I noticed a smaller group at the back, so I turned back to finish up with them. A bit of hamstring issues for one of the girls, so a bit more walking in the end, but I just want to make sure that everyone gets back safely. Nice coffee & catch-up with Amy & Glenda at Starbucks afterwards, then home for a well deserved shower… I feel human again!
Today will be chilaxin’ for the rest of the day. I’m going to watch “Stoned” – the story of Brian Jones (thanks for the note Heather!)burn a couple of CD’s for Girls Weekend at the cottage next week, then catch up on the Runners World & Triathlon Canada mags that are sitting here collecting dust!
“Rushing through this day is not going to be the right strategy -- instead, you need to take things one step at a time and not worry about anyone who may (or may not) be hot on your tail. Getting too caught up in a competitive vibe will only add stress to any otherwise pleasant day. Be content with where you are -- the progress you're making is respectable. Perhaps you're not exactly where you want to be right now, but who is? Count your blessings and choose to be content.”
All I can say is WOW… The last part is pretty much my post here on Friday, and the first part described my morning exactly!
Saturday started out with a group ride for the cycling team. My 35K “buddy” must have slept in & didn’t show (Janet, where are you?) So, there were only 2 of us planning to ride 35K. We decided to go with the s-l-o-w 50K crew.
Well…. A couple of the guys were going to be racing at Bellwood on Sunday, so they proclaimed they wanted an EASY 50K (they normally ride with the speed demon 50K group)… They took off in the lead with the rest of us (well I know that I was anyhow!) peddling like crazy to keep up. My speedometer isn’t working right now (mental note to check the connections), but I know we were keeping our average speed around 30 KPH… WAY TOO FAST for me on a ride that long. After about 30 minutes of that, the other 30K rider & I turned back to return. We had a really great ride back, with lots of hill climbing – Yep; I like it as much as I like running hills! (Honest, I really do like them!) It just wasn’t worth expending all my energy on Saturday morning when I still had a long run Sunday and the rest of a long weekend to go!
Saturday night I got an impromptu visit from Leslie, Alex, Lorna & Jess! It was nice to have people call & pop over… We headed to the park for Rib-Fest & wandered about for a bit. Tim also called earlier in the afternoon to make plans for Monday (YAY!)… We’re going to get Ribs for dinner… if I have to use food to entice him for “date time” then so be it (for now…) Things are progressing with his old business issues which is good to know, having that weight finally lifted off of his shoulders will be an incredible relief for everyone.
My long run was very up & down (literally & physically) this morning. None of my “back of the pack” crew showed today, so I went out with a faster group. Nice to run with them at my normal pace for a few kilometers. Then I noticed a smaller group at the back, so I turned back to finish up with them. A bit of hamstring issues for one of the girls, so a bit more walking in the end, but I just want to make sure that everyone gets back safely. Nice coffee & catch-up with Amy & Glenda at Starbucks afterwards, then home for a well deserved shower… I feel human again!
Today will be chilaxin’ for the rest of the day. I’m going to watch “Stoned” – the story of Brian Jones (thanks for the note Heather!)burn a couple of CD’s for Girls Weekend at the cottage next week, then catch up on the Runners World & Triathlon Canada mags that are sitting here collecting dust!
Friday, August 04, 2006
The summer of "T"
So, I can see myself enjoying this whole “blogging” experience. I don'’t know that it is something that I'’ll be able to maintain long term, but I did manage to keep a daily written journal for a whopping 10 years or so from the ages of 13 to around 24 or 25. I shredded most of it when we sold the house in May, but I did enjoy going back and reading a lot of it before destroying the evidence! For me it ha’s always been so much easier to put it down in writing than to say it out loud anyhow, so if I can utilize my blog to help keep my thoughts sorted out then I'’ll be happy with that. :-)
It'’s now August, I only have one thing to say : Where on earth has my summer gone to? My initial plan was for this to be "“The summer of T"”, which I have partly managed, but it just does not feel like I have accomplished very much. I'’m getting out on my bike regularly and running twice a week as planned, I just got back to the pool last week as well, so I guess I'’m 3 for 3 on that count!
* I've seen my GP and am managing my depression, but I still have not set up any counselling yet…
*I had asked Tim that we try to set aside a regular "“date night"” so that we don'’t drift too far apart these past few months, and those dates have not really materialized more than a couple of times. :-( I understand that he is busy trying to build his business, but I still take it personally, when I know fully that it is not personal.
*According to my plans, I should have almost $2000 in my savings account by now, but have only managed about $1000… But I have made sure that I set my apartment up just as I want, and I am enjoying my summer with a couple of impromptu road trips including a few really fun days in Kingston with the Maniacs. Those little things add up to the deficit.
I wiil need to focus on for the next month I guess.
But, now that I see it in black & white, I am batting 500 here, so I should stop beating myself up about it… Besides, those are a lot of things to have completed and/or started in 3 months....
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