I haven’t abandoned my blog, I’ve just been carazzzzy busy the past few weeks with training, racing, work & well, life in general. Overall, this has been an extremely eye-opening and enlightening few weeks for me though. One day, I may go into further detail ;-)
I have sort of come to the realization that what happened during my last post may have been more of an anxiety or panic attack more than anything else. I had been holding so much in for so long that it just had to come out, it just took about 4-5 hours to get it all out of my system. The next morning was a bit rough too, and it took me a good 45 minutes to get out the door for my run. I kept finding excuses not to go, I forgot this, needed to change that… the list went on. I never want to have that happen again, so I’ve been doing a lot of reading & soul searching. L & A came to my rescue that weekend & Sunday morning after my run, I went to visit them for the day/evening. It was just what I needed – to be away from home, out of the city & to be in a comfortable surrounding with people who understand what I was going through. That helped so much that I can’t even express it in words.
The following weekend, I did my first Tri of the season; well needless to say, I had a bit of a freak out in the water (argghhh) and only completed one of two loops of the course. I did beat last years swim time by a couple of minutes though! I just couldn’t face doing it all over again. I did have a great day in the end surrounded by friends who know and understand what I’ve been going through.
So fast forward a couple of weeks (don’t worry, I’ve been doing just fabulous!) to Scotia Waterfront-half marathon. This was the crowning glory to the summer of helping my clinic group to their first half. September 24 wasn’t really about me, but deep down inside it was –(does that make me selfish?) I got to see so many happy smiling faces, and to help someone who was struggling to finish 5 or more minutes faster than her projected time. I think my face hurt from the smiles that weekend. I also got a chance to catch up with 30 or so of my “best friends from the internet”, which always leaves me feeling happy. YOU GUYS ROCK, and continue to amaze me with your support.
This past weekend was my redemption for the September 2 trail fiasco… Revenge is sweet (although the dish was a bit cold because I took way longer than I had expected)… I accomplished a lot this past Saturday, my longest distance ever (25K) finished with a face splitting goofy grin and I ran the last 1.5K full out as I had been holding back.. It felt good to finish with that “run ‘till you puke” feeling because I had very little left in me. Well, I must have had something left in me, because I’m contemplating heading out for an hour or so tonight if I still feel like it.
I’ve also been doing a whole lot of soul searching, with a bit of help & guidance from what I hope to be a new friend… Thanks K. You’ve opened my eyes to a lot of things that I knew existed and held myself back from looking at with any depth.
No comments:
Post a Comment