The Forest Shrine. I'm not sure if you are supposed to talk about it, or if there is some sort of rule about it.
You know like fight club. First rule of the Haliburton Forest Shrine is to NOT talk about the Haliburton Forest Shrine. Or something along those lines.
So I may be entering taboo ground here, but oh well.. I can't make things any worse than they have been lately, can I? ;) I've been lamenting over what to leave as my offering as I pass the intersection of Ben and Krista trails in the gorgeous Haliburton Forest. I wanted to leave a memento of “us” but we didn't really do that stuff. I thought about laminating one of my favourite pictures of you and I. It's our shadows sitting back to back at the top of Lookout trail at Algonquin. Then I thought about how you may feel next year running by that point with her. How would you feel about it, would you even remember that photo.
Instead my mind drifted back to my beloved little rose quartz. I must have bought it about 20 years ago. I wore it for years. It was supposed to bring me love. I wore it on a longer chain so it would be closer to my heart. I haven't worn the thing in about 6 years or so, but for some reason I don't feel the need to keep that little beautiful piece of stone anymore.
So, I am leaving that palest of pink obelisk at the shrine. I don't really feel worthy of owning it anymore for some reason (which I will explain later) so I will leave it in the forest this weekend. Leave it for the Forest Gods and the Spirit Women of the Forest.
Perhaps they will find it more useful than I.
Shrine – part II
So, I want to go back to the rose quartz and something that has been on my mind for the last couple of weeks.
I wonder if, when we are born we get a certain number of “chances” at finding true love and happiness. Sort of like the three wishes you would get from rubbing a genies bottle.
Perhaps, when you are born – you get a predetermined number of “loves” say 2-3, 10. I have been blessed enough to have two very significant and serious kicks at the love can. Neither of which has worked out for one reason or another.
Is that all I get? There are days, and even singular moments that I am perfectly content and happy with this, then there are other moments that the possibility makes me sad, frustrated and angry.
What if I ruined my only chances? What if I am doomed to loneliness and frustration for the next 30 some years because of my own stupid inability to communicate and tell people how I feel about them before it is far too late?
I guess I have 30 some years to ponder that one....