Mud Sweat & Tears - let the pictures tell the story!

My first (and probably only ever) Podium Finish!

August 27, 2006 … Chatham Bulldogs Triathlon/Duathlon.

The weather was crap! I listened to the rain all night long, drove an hour to the race in the rain, waited around for the start in the rain & raced in the rain! Oh yeah, and the mud and the mosquitos during the final run! Was it worth it? In the end yep!

To continue on with my summer of no real training or focus, I actually went into this race semi-prepared! I had done a couple of rides through the week, carbo-loaded for dinner on Saturday & was pretty well rested. Then came the rain. Funny thing is, on Saturday afternoon after riding, we were talking about racing in the rain & what problems you can run into on the bike. Then I admitted that I haven’t even ridden my bike in the rain, let alone raced it. Somebody was listening! Because I had quite the learning experience the following morning! :-)

The first run was great, I went out quickly & after a point you just couldn’t dodge the puddles anymore, I said to hell with it & ran through them if I had to. 12:09 for the initial 2K run. I thought I took my time in transition, but according to the chip times I wasn’t too bad. The bike sucked wind at first, but it always does for me because I push too much on my first run – one day I will learn, really I will! While I love the flat, fast course in this race, you are pedaling, ALL the time! My clothes were already soaked through from the pre-race & first run leg, and I could actually feel the water draining out of the bottom of my bike shoes while I was pedaling. GROSS! My handlebars were wet, my aero bars & seat were wet, at times I couldn’t even see my bike computer because of the water on it! But, I managed to stay upright & tried to keep as close to 30K per hour as much as I possibly could. It took a good 4 kilometers to stop sucking wind, but I got my breathing sorted out finally. I just kept thinking, this is only 20K – I have friends in Penticton today racing Iron Man Canada – they had to do 180 kilometers today. That’s when I kept repeating “suck it up buttercup” over & over in my head… Tim gave me that one… I also threw in a “princess” every once in a while! I managed an average speed of 27.08K per hour on the bike – not bad as I think I managed an average around 23 or 24 k per hour last year. I took my time in transition this time… I was so wet that I could barely get my running shoes back on. The towel that I had thrown over my gear was soaked & luckily I had put my running shoes upside down under the towel – at least they weren’t full of water! I choked back a Chocolate Hammer Gel – blech, but it was all I had at home. Threw my hat on & hit the trail back into the woods.

This is where it fell apart – I really have to work on my “mental” game if I intend to race. I have the physical ability, but my head starts telling me otherwise. I probably walked half of the stupid little 5K course. Luckily though only a couple of people passed me, which was actually quite shocking. I guess I wasn’t the only one who was having a bad day. Because we were running a dirt road through the woods, the mosquitoes were incredible. I have bites on my arms & legs & I think I can still hear the little buggers buzzing around my ears! I did manage to run in the final kilometer though. All said and done in 1:37:32… 13 minutes SLOWER than last years race – that was all because of the second run. My first run was on par with 2005, and my bike had improved. Had I not let my head win the game on the second run, I would have easily beat my 1:24 time.

Here’s the best – this is a pretty small race. There were probably only 40-50 people doing the Sprint Duathlon in total. Last year they went in 10 year age categories for placement. This year, they decided to go all out & get medals & the whole thing. They went in 5 year age categories & I Silvered in my age…
No-one else has to know that there were only 2 of us in the age group though!

Why is it that we can’t see ourselves as others see us?

I’m in one of those moods this weekend (I’ll blame it on the antibiotics)… feelin’ a bit philosophical.

Why is it that we can’t see ourselves as others see us?

Yesterday in www.runningmania.com, a group of us decided to sent our inner critic/inner child off to camp for the day. It truly was a great & very cleansing exercise once the day was said and done. Of course, the females of the group had much more critical and devious inner critics, while the guys didn’t have the issues that we did. Of course the common thread for the women consisted of the typical stuff: weight, body type, weakness, inability to succeed… you get the idea.

Towards the end of the day, “K” suggested that we each write down something that we love about ourselves… This was hard, for me anyhow. This is what I eventually came up with:

So, what do I love about myself... the person that I have become in the past few years. I think that it has something to do with finally becoming an "adult". I'm not as afraid to stand up for myself as I used to be & I don't put up with bull-crap anymore. My determination & sense of humor also come to mind....

Nothing too mind blowing, but I managed. Shortly after this, we were challenged to write what we appreciated about each other… now keep in mind that while I have actually met many of the group participating in this little exorcism, I have also never met a large number of the “nation”. I was absolutely speechless at what people thought of me:

Tracy- what I appreciate about you is you share your journey
Tracy...your tenacity...that is simply the word that comes to mind...
Tracy, what I like about you is your sensitivity and the fact that you're not ashamed of it. I also appreciate your unconditional support
Tracy: What I love about you is you seem to have no limits. You just keep trying new things and add them to that being who is the ever-evolving Tracy

These things literally brought me to tears, as they are the last words that I would ever consider using to describe myself…It’s so funny that we never quite see each other as the world sees us….

Why must it be that way?

Something to think about.....

So this is what life will be like???

Well, I’ve almost ended a short (but really long) week that I managed to fill up very quickly! I managed to get some good quality workouts in: 2 hours at the pool and a long run to a hill workout. Here I was thinking that I was doing so well in the pool, but I found out that once again – my hips & legs are dropping, so I had to spend some time focusing on balance again Thursday night – all that thinking while I’m in the pool - I forget to breathe properly…

Tim and I went for “date night” this week – first time in a while it seems. We hit the Rib-Festival on Monday evening for BBQ, a walk through the park & a good chat on a park bench! One moment, he’s saying that he enjoys not having anyone worry about him (little does he know) and coming & going as he pleases from his sister’s house – being single. Then 20 minutes later he’s introducing me to a customer as his wife :?…. Well, I am his wife, but it’s just well – weird (that’s the only word that I can find to describe the situation) I had totally forgotten to remind him that I had gotten Dixie Chicks tickets for tonight (I got them in June), so I e-mailed him Tuesday to remind him. Thursday night I get an e-mail telling me that he’s in a golf tournament on Monday & doesn’t think that he’ll be able to do both (he is still having major sleep issues) so he’s going to pass on the concert & hopes I can find someone to take the extra ticket… UGH – MEN… So, I’m away all weekend at the cottage – how on earth am I going to find someone. Luckily my friend Trix (name changed to protect the innocent - lol) came to the rescue.

I had a great time with the girls at the cottage for our annual “Girls weekend”. So much has happened to all of us this past year it’s hard to fathom when you put it all down. Of the 7 of us attending this year (we’re down 3 from our normal crew due to other things that have come up) there are 2 separations/divorces, a difficult business/marriage situation, adoption of a child, completion of treatment for breast cancer… the list goes on. I guess though, that we’re all at the stage in our life (40’s ACK, when DID that happen?) where we are deciding that enough is enough & finally doing what’s right for us.

I also got a potential taste of what single life may be like (should Tim & I decide to go our separate ways) while we were at the cottage – I don’t really like that taste… blech. (well I never really did like the whole looking/dating thing to begin with) I am not in any way interested in
a: someone my father’s age,
b: someone who could pass for my own child!

Life will be rough out there I think.

My weekend has been busy so far!

OK, so I noticed this on my home page Horoscope on Saturday evening at about 7:48 PM:

“Rushing through this day is not going to be the right strategy -- instead, you need to take things one step at a time and not worry about anyone who may (or may not) be hot on your tail. Getting too caught up in a competitive vibe will only add stress to any otherwise pleasant day. Be content with where you are -- the progress you're making is respectable. Perhaps you're not exactly where you want to be right now, but who is? Count your blessings and choose to be content.”

All I can say is WOW… The last part is pretty much my post here on Friday, and the first part described my morning exactly!

Saturday started out with a group ride for the cycling team. My 35K “buddy” must have slept in & didn’t show (Janet, where are you?) So, there were only 2 of us planning to ride 35K. We decided to go with the s-l-o-w 50K crew.

Well…. A couple of the guys were going to be racing at Bellwood on Sunday, so they proclaimed they wanted an EASY 50K (they normally ride with the speed demon 50K group)… They took off in the lead with the rest of us (well I know that I was anyhow!) peddling like crazy to keep up. My speedometer isn’t working right now (mental note to check the connections), but I know we were keeping our average speed around 30 KPH… WAY TOO FAST for me on a ride that long. After about 30 minutes of that, the other 30K rider & I turned back to return. We had a really great ride back, with lots of hill climbing – Yep; I like it as much as I like running hills! (Honest, I really do like them!) It just wasn’t worth expending all my energy on Saturday morning when I still had a long run Sunday and the rest of a long weekend to go!

Saturday night I got an impromptu visit from Leslie, Alex, Lorna & Jess! It was nice to have people call & pop over… We headed to the park for Rib-Fest & wandered about for a bit. Tim also called earlier in the afternoon to make plans for Monday (YAY!)… We’re going to get Ribs for dinner… if I have to use food to entice him for “date time” then so be it (for now…) Things are progressing with his old business issues which is good to know, having that weight finally lifted off of his shoulders will be an incredible relief for everyone.

My long run was very up & down (literally & physically) this morning. None of my “back of the pack” crew showed today, so I went out with a faster group. Nice to run with them at my normal pace for a few kilometers. Then I noticed a smaller group at the back, so I turned back to finish up with them. A bit of hamstring issues for one of the girls, so a bit more walking in the end, but I just want to make sure that everyone gets back safely. Nice coffee & catch-up with Amy & Glenda at Starbucks afterwards, then home for a well deserved shower… I feel human again!

Today will be chilaxin’ for the rest of the day. I’m going to watch “Stoned” – the story of Brian Jones (thanks for the note Heather!)burn a couple of CD’s for Girls Weekend at the cottage next week, then catch up on the Runners World & Triathlon Canada mags that are sitting here collecting dust!

The summer of "T"

So, I can see myself enjoying this whole “blogging” experience. I don'’t know that it is something that I'’ll be able to maintain long term, but I did manage to keep a daily written journal for a whopping 10 years or so from the ages of 13 to around 24 or 25. I shredded most of it when we sold the house in May, but I did enjoy going back and reading a lot of it before destroying the evidence! For me it ha’s always been so much easier to put it down in writing than to say it out loud anyhow, so if I can utilize my blog to help keep my thoughts sorted out then I'’ll be happy with that. :-)

It'’s now August, I only have one thing to say : Where on earth has my summer gone to? My initial plan was for this to be "“The summer of T"”, which I have partly managed, but it just does not feel like I have accomplished very much. I'’m getting out on my bike regularly and running twice a week as planned, I just got back to the pool last week as well, so I guess I'’m 3 for 3 on that count!

* I've seen my GP and am managing my depression, but I still have not set up any counselling yet…

*I had asked Tim that we try to set aside a regular "“date night"” so that we don'’t drift too far apart these past few months, and those dates have not really materialized more than a couple of times. :-( I understand that he is busy trying to build his business, but I still take it personally, when I know fully that it is not personal.

*According to my plans, I should have almost $2000 in my savings account by now, but have only managed about $1000… But I have made sure that I set my apartment up just as I want, and I am enjoying my summer with a couple of impromptu road trips including a few really fun days in Kingston with the Maniacs. Those little things add up to the deficit.

I wiil need to focus on for the next month I guess.

But, now that I see it in black & white, I am batting 500 here, so I should stop beating myself up about it… Besides, those are a lot of things to have completed and/or started in 3 months....

I am filling my long weekend up as much as I can with lots of little adventures which will keep me both entertained and occupied - so I'd best get too it!

Cancelled workout tonight :-(

Meet my new found friend this summer - "Dolphin"

So, I was set to go for a short 20-25K bike ride tonight with the "girls"... With rain & more thunderstorms on the forecast until 8:00 PM, I'd rather not be out on the open highway straddling an aluminum frame!

This summer, I have discovered how much I enjoy riding my bike (especially after getting it correctly fit). I've done all group rides, either with my training group, the girls or the "big ride" in Kingston last month. I feel so strong once I am out there & going. We did a big hill climb last Saturday and I was suppressed at how great I felt climbing it, yes I was in "granny gear" yet I still managed to pass a couple of people. Afterwards on our short run, Gabbi had this to say:

" you were so freaking fast when you blew by me on that hill!"

This means a lot coming from her - an IRONMAN!

If the roads were safer around here, I would love to do a couple of solo a week, but we just had our 12th cycle/auto related death here this week. There is such a stupid uproar in this city over where the cyclist belong (on the road!!!) I hesitate to go out on my own due to the aggressive drivers who don't want the cyclists in their way. No cycling lanes make it to iffy.

I guess I should have hit the pool instead of lounging about, but I really needed to clean up around here before the weekend... Now that it's all done, I now have the long weekend to myself ... Well, I really have pretty much any weekend to myself anymore, but that's beside the point...

What am I doing???

So, I wanted to post to my friend Kelodie's Blog... to do this I had to sign up for my own. In the back of my mind, it's something that I've been thinking about doing for a while now...just for me, but if anyone else wants to comment, feel free!

I'll probably end up discussing a lot more than my running on here...

Swimming, cycling, dealing with depression and my recent separation, my rants.. you name it, it may very well show up here... ;-)

"t"