Monday, yep.. let's continue the melt-down streak....

in my sleep
I dreamed
you called. you said
you were moving back
with your old lover.
you said you thought a
phone call would be the
cleanest way to handle it,
"it" being that we could
never see each other
again, and that I should
understand why.
I moved to wake
myself and found I wasn't
sleeping after all.
my life became
a nightmare.

Today has been weird.... I layed in bed until noon. I saw that he was going for a run at 8:00 AM with a friend (male friend that I have met) that stopped me from going to the trails. The fear of running (literally) into him..... He sent me a text just before noon today. Asking me to talk to him about something I had asked a few days ago that he didn't understand. I told him to forget about it, that I would work it out on my own.

We chatted very briefly later on this afternoon. It was OK. He said he has thought a lot about what we have gone through and how his only response is that "everything happens for a reason". Yeah. Thanks.

Now he has put a wonderful new "2010" album up on FB. I was catching up on friends photos from the last week or so and it came up. It contains pictures from the winter and of course now the summer. Yes. There is a picture of THEM. He is smiling, she is draped on him. It broke my heart. There is not a single photo that even would leave anyone to believe that I was in his life.....

I think that hurts more than the happy shining couple I saw staring back at me on the screen...

Back to bed for me, after a tall stiff drink.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.